Year 5 at High Lawn

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Year 5 at High Lawn

Homework for week ending 27th May

May 26th, 2011 · 107 Comments · General News

100 word challenge

Your task is to write a 100 words to describe the picture. You can either write in 1st or 3rd person.

Try to use all of your senses! Use adjectives as much as possible. Remember all of your literacy skills (WOW words/ punctuation, connectives, etc.)

In by Wednesday 8th June by 9am.

Please can you place your homework as a comment. Thank you :)

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107 Comments so far ↓

  • Megan C (High Lawn)

    Here’s my homework even though I’m in 6D:

    Slowly, the decrepit multi-coloured sheep strolled down the green grass zestfully.
    “Baaabbaaaabaaaa,”angrily mumbled the strange sheep. The abnormal creatures (pushing and shoving) were munching aggressively at the grass while telling the other sheep to ‘get lost’ in our language but translated ‘Buuuuuguuuuutiiiiii’ – sheep language!
    Blue ones; green ones, red ones and tangerine orange colours filled the emerging field. What on earths were they doing there was they moved from farm to farm? Possibly. Still pushing and shoving they got very annoyed and….
    “Buuuuuguuuuutiiiiii!” again
    When were they ever going to be quiet? well never but its an annoying sound!

    • Mrs Bailey

      What a great blogger you are Megan, completing homework when your not even in our class! Mrs Duxbury will be proud of you. Thank you for your comment, it’s very imaginative :)

      Mrs Bailey

    • Ross Mannell

      Megan, you have a great turn of phrase. Your use of adjectives and adverbs brightened your story and helps the reader picture what you mean. Well done.
      from an Australian primary school teacher

  • finley

    As I ventured further into my sleep, I could just about make out different coloured sheep that were prancing around like headless chickens in a dull field! It seemed like they were doing a little dance, I think they were doing the hakka! So, the sheep finally stopped and suddenly darted to an immense, colossal chocolate lollipop.They started eating it like there was no tommorrow! After that, they got drowsy and all their heads went down. So, as the day faded into the night in sheep heaven, all the sheep just dropped like flies and fell into a deep sleep, just like me!

    • Mrs Bailey

      Well done Finley, what a great start to our homework blog. I really like the opening sentence ‘As I ventured further into my sleep’. What a superb closing too, using a simile makes me happy.

      Mrs Bailey

    • Ross Mannell

      Finley, I enjoyed reading your story. Your use of phrases adding greater meaning to your story. Like your teacher, I think “As I ventured into my sleep” is wonderful.
      PS I am an Australian primary school teacher. You would do well in my class. :)

  • ryanp

    In a colourful, land where the grass is always green and the delightful animals happily munch there delectable food, some sheep huddled around each other but not just normal sheep pink,purple,red and blue wool all over their body. The beatiful feamale sheep think they look rediculas but the boys were not bothered.
    but then, suddenly far away a red wave flew over the land turning it into burnt grass… It was a ginormas heat wave!!! The sheep ran in terror as it closed in. As the massive heat wave dissapered from the sheeps land all that was left was burnt grass.will the sheep ever foind somewhere to eat and live? Stay tuned to find out!

    • Mrs Bailey

      Super work Ryan, you have described it really well, so much so that I feel like I’m there myself. Well done for using a rhetorical question too! Just have a look at some of your openers, I think you may have just forgot your C.L’s, why not edit it and add them in.

      Mrs Bailey

    • Ross Mannell

      To ryanp… Great use of adjectives, Ryan. You helped paint pictures in my mind as I read your story.

  • neva

    Farmer Coo-coo is the craziest man in the whole of our galaxy! He is animal crazy! I soppose thats why he wanted to be a farmer. Last month was his craziest time ever! It was the town farmer compertition, whitch ment all the farmers in Upside Down Town would have to show 27 of a chosen animal to 3 judges and inpress them in any way they liked. This years chosen animal was the sheep.

    Some farmers died their their sheep a colour, like Farmer Pete, he died his sheep purple! But some farmers added ribbons and bows to their sheep, like Mr Fred, he added red ribbons and orange bows to his sheep! But Farmer Coo-coo could not decide what to decorate his sheep with, so he decided he would both. But what colour? Farmer Coo-coo finally decided he would die 7 sheep red, 16sheep orange, 2 sheep yellow, 9 sheep green, 14 sheep blue and 6 sheep purble. Then he thought he would give 1 sheep of each colour 1 multicolour bow or ribbon!

    Finally it was the day of the compertition, Farmer Coo-coo lined his sheep up for exspection. There were 12 farmers each had decorated their sheep in different way. Just then the judges had the results… “In 1st place is…….. Farmer Coo-coo!” anounced the judges.
    “YES!!!!!!!” screamed Farmer Coo-coo. And belive me that is one crazy farmer with a crazy flock of sheep!

    By : Neva
    Number of words: 226

    • Mrs Bailey

      Excellent Neva, I would like to visit Upside Down Town. I really like the sound of your character ‘Farmer Coo-coo’, he is a bit crazy coo-coo doing that to his sheep. I like also like how you have remebered to use paragraphs. Just have a read back through and have a look at some of you spellings, maybe you could try editing it.

      Mrs Bailey

      • neva

        Sorry Mrs Bailey, here’s the brilliant and much better one…..

        Farmer Coo-coo is the craziest man in the whole of our galaxy! He is animal crazy! I suppose that’s why he wanted to be a farmer. Last month was his craziest time ever! It was the town farmer competition, which meant all the farmers in Upside Down Town would have to show 27 of a chosen animal to 3 judges and impress them in any way they liked. This year’s chosen animal was the sheep.

        Some farmers dyed their sheep a colour, like Farmer Pete, he dyed his sheep purple! But some farmers added ribbons and bows to their sheep, like Mr Fred, he added red ribbons and orange bows to his sheep! But Farmer Coo-coo could not decide what to decorate his sheep with, so he decided he would both. But what colour? Farmer Coo-coo finally decided he would dye 7 sheep red, 16sheep orange, 2 sheep yellow, 9 sheep green, 14 sheep blue and 6 sheep purple. Then he thought he would give 1 sheep of each colour 1 multicolour bow or ribbon!

        Finally it was the day of the competition, Farmer Coo-coo lined his sheep up for inspection. There were 12 farmers each had decorated their sheep in different way. Just then the judges had the results… “In 1st place is…….. Farmer Coo-coo!” announced the judges.
        “YES!!!!!!!” screamed Farmer Coo-coo. And believe me that is one crazy farmer with a crazy flock of sheep!

        • Mrs Bailey

          Don’t say sorry Neva, remember that in anybody’s work there will always be something to improve on. It’s not a negative but a way of making your writing even better! However, thank you for going back and correcting your spellings.

  • mathew

    One day there was a terrible hail. It was no ordinary hail though, it hailed skittles and starbursts! The sheep were just prodding along the soft, slushy, green grass, whilst the hail was pouring down, it was the worst hail the world had ever had the sheep kept baaaaaa- ing on the way to get some shelter. When the farmer called farmer pickles ran along the path to get the sheep into the pen, he was absouloutley gob-smacked he couldn’t believe his eyes, what was infront of him was alot of multi-coulored sheep! There was blue sheep who were just lying down, there was red sheep who looked as though they had been shot, there was even green sheep who just wanted to get shelter. The farmer managed to get all of the sheep into there pen. After about 15 minuites the hail had stopped, the sun rose up into the sky, glimmering like a yellow diamond. Even though it was sunny the sheep didn’t want to get out, they were just dozing off to sleep with all of there bodies in the shape of a rainbow infact it even looked like a animal rainbow. The farmer never knew how it had happened. Its a mystery to be continued…….

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      Well done Mathew! I loved your simile ‘the sum rose up into the sky, glimmering like a yellow diamond’. I also liked the way you said it was an ‘animal rainbow’, this really painted a picture in my mind! Have a read through again and see if you can add a few commas as you have missed them in a couple of places, you could always edit them in. Keep it up!

  • danielw

    Daniel Whitfield
    Homework – Coloured sheep

    One day, there were several coloured sheep eating bright green grass. Suddenly, it heavily started to rain hard. After a couple of seconds, the rain was beginning to wash the sheep’s colourful coat off and all the sheep loved their multi-coloured coats. So all the sheep went into the barns to sleep and stay dry. Just then, a vicious, angry bull jumped out from behind the hay and growled loudly at a red sheep. Bulls don’t like seeing red so the bull charged at the poor sheep so the sheep ran for it’s life and was never seen or heard from again. The bull kept on chasing him from that day on….

    • Mrs Bailey

      Very good Daniel, I feel a bit sorry for the sheep, I hope they manage to get away from the bull. I really like you different sentence openers today like ‘Just the’ and ‘After a couple of seconds’. I really want to find out what happens next!

      Mrs Bailey

  • lukew

    There in the gloomy darkness, was a robber. He tried to get in Jim the farmers barn but he failed. He tried days and days to get in to the farm but he just couldn’t. Weirdly the robber tried to get in to the barn in day time but this time he came with another person. He finally after having two hours of trying to get in he finally got in. Jim knew all the sheep how strong they are, how weak they are and what the eat. As soon as night fell the farmer was asleep with ear muffs on. He painted all the sheep different colours such as green, orange, purple, red and blue. When the farmer woke up he saw all of them but, being very clever, the farmer had already painted a tiny yellow or black dot underneath the sheep. The robber saw all the sheep looking good so they came back. They tried to get the horses this time but the farmer had put a senser near all the animals so the robber came in with the paint but got trapped in a little cell. Jim rung the police and got the robber in jail. Unexpectedly, jail got bombed two knighhts later and the robber got out of there.

    To be continued…

    • Mrs Bailey

      Good work Luke, what a clever farmer he was! An interesting story, I like your use of adverbs for sentence openers and also how you introduced the story ‘There in the gloomy darkness..’. Just take a look back through and have a go at editing your spellings e.g. ‘knighhts’.

      Mrs Bailey

  • aishah

    In a wonderful land,where everything is coloured like sheeps were coloured but only in red, pink, green and blue only four colours. If the sheeps snorted like this “baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”snorted the sheeps and all of a sudden the farmer tried to scrub the colour away one day and he couldn’t.So he went to the shops one day and brought a spray to spray it off but he still couldn’t.He asked another farmer “How do i make all these sheep back to there normal colour “asked the farmer with coloured sheep.
    “Sorry i don’t know anything about coloured sheep.”replied the farmer.So the farmer with coloured sheep told himself that it was because they snrted so the have to stay the colour as they are.

    • Mrs Bailey

      Good work Aishah, I like how you have used some speech in your short story. What a shame the sheep will have to stay the colour they are or maybe they like being that colour, it makes them unique I suppose! Just remember that when you write speech you need to use some form of punctuation before you close the speech marks.

      Mrs Bailey

  • taylord

    The colourful sheep our very happy and live a very simple life in the field and as they munch on their delectable grass they don’t know what is going on in the back of the field! Without knowing that foxes our coming to take the field for themselves and take over! They were also planing to eat the sheep for dinner…! Meanwhile the foxes was plotting their evil plan the sheep were still munching on their delectable grass.

    The foxes finished plotting their evil plan and the leader of the pack shouted “Invade!!!” The sheep didn’t know what to do all they did was charge towards them and say “Baaaaaaaaaaa,” then all the foxes ran away and the sheep thought lets have a party and all we will do is eat grass and they got back to doing what they always do eat.

    THE END

    • Mrs Bailey

      Very good Taylor, a good idea of using other characters – the evil, cunning foxes. I like how you have used punctuation for effect e.g. ! and … You have also used some great sentence openers like ‘Meanwhile’ and ‘Without knowing…’ Take care when using ‘are’ and ‘our’.

      Mrs Bailey

  • MeggyCee xx :)

    Hello year 5 Megan here what a great way to sort out your new blog well done….

  • hashim

    As the sun shone as bright as ever the good wizard Mavel was cooking up a brilliant potion that could turn a whole army of any thing into a flock of sheep all in different colours.While this was happening the evil wizard Audra was
    watching him and also planing a cunning scheme to take control over the world with that potion. Rapidly Audra teleported to Mavel’s secret base of good and grabbed hold of Mavel’s potion,just as he was about to escape the potion sliped out of his hand.This was not good because now the potion had escaped,that meant every one will be a colored sheep!

    • Mrs Bailey

      Great imagination Hashim, I really like the idea of the magical potion spilling everywhere – does that mean we would all turn into coloured sheep too? Great choice of openers in your writing, especially ‘As the sun shone as bright as ever…’
      Well done!

  • kaysha

    As I sauntered towards the colourful, crazy sheep I noticed that there was a collosal pile of fruit pastiles, star bursts, skittles hubbabubba and food dye. Since I was quite intelligent and good at working out wierd mysterys I had a conclusion that the farmer/shephard had been feeding them his left over sweets so his wife and kids didn’t know he had them. All of the sheep had either turned blue, purple, green or red!I had to take away the sweets, when I did I heard a sheepish groan which was quite unexpected. WHAT A WIERD DAY!!!!!!

    • Mrs Bailey

      Ha ha, the sneaky farmer hiding all his sweets from his wife and children. What a great story idea Kaysha. A lovely opening to your story and some great vocabulary choices like ‘unexpected’ and ‘conclusion’.

      Mrs Bailey

  • annalise

    A brilliant opening of your sentence.
    annalise

  • annalise

    The white fluffy sheep were peacefully grazing in the green grassy meadows. It was a bright and sunny day when all of a sudden the sky turned a deep black colour. The coulds down poured a sea of colour. It was splattering illuminous colours of giant squidy, squashy gum balloons on to the helpless sheep.
    As the gloomy sky disappeared and the sun shone in the blue sky,the sheep were unaware of their ‘technicolour dream coats’. Joseph their shepherd was amazed by his rainbow coulered sheep.He stood for hours watching his flock of sheep.
    Was it an act of GOD!!!

  • Miss Tidmarsh

    What a fantastic idea of ‘technicolour dreamcoats’ Annalise! I also love your phrase ‘it was splattering illuminous colours of giant, squidgy, squashy gum balloons on the helpless sheep’, this really painted a picture in my mind! Just look at your last sentence, is it a question? If so, maybe a question mark would be better than an exclamation mark. Keep it up Annalise!

  • talha

    After the stormy tsunami the sun was blocked by a huge ,last wave.Soon after the wave fell and swept away a professional sheep stealer with many other ancient palaces that had been standig for thousands of years and they were never to be seen again…..

    Later the land changed into a deserted graveyard that was full of broken tomb stones and cracked coffins.After a few years everything started to dissolve and dissepear,what would happen next?…

    Many many yaers later a rain of skittles,multi-coulered starbursts and even the funniest thing:a sheep but not just any kind of sheep a blue one,a purple one aswell,also a green one and even a red one .(it was very stinky,it smelt like old mushy peas and rotten, old and dead smelly beatles ..HHOORRAAYY!!!)

    Soon afterwards the sheep kept on eating brown,dirty grass and then on the 31st of May 2011 every single piece of grass grew so small ONLY 40 sheep survived the dreadful,deavestating food shortages.Suddenly after 30000 years of starvation the professional sheep stealer came to take the sheep.The next day every single sheep was gone!!

    The sly sheep stealer had took them!What a sly monster!He was planning to turn them into actual skittles!!(you never see that every day,don’t you now.)The robber took many days to make an ultimate cracklebob!!!!!!(It’s atype of food that will make you dissapear then come back as a skittle..i’ve never tasted it before.)he was starving after doing all that work so he got a banana and when he was just about to eat it a huge bang was heard….

    Super amounts of smoke filled the room,they screamed and left.(Yes,i thought it was rather unusual.No I’m joking it is just the way of life isn’t it chap.Ah that was fun.)Out came a screaming mokey on a vine.It kicked the robber of his chair and stole the banana.As the mad monkey left he said:”This will teach you never to steal my bananas ever again! ”
    A few miuites after the robber woke up.He accidentelly hit the cracklebob with his head.Staman the robber quickley dodged out of the way before the cracklebob could get him but sadly it hit the poor sheep.

    When the sheep came back(from their long sleep turning into a skittle.)The sheep stealer was hypnotized because he was so hungry he saw the sheep skittles he started to chase them out of his laboratry,through town and finally back to Hingletootytiny balloon farm.(I don’t know why it’s called Hingletootytinyballoon farm mabye because it is filled with balloons.)

    When the balloon farm’s balloons blew up the sheep changed into multi-coloured sheep,everyone dissapeared,even the hypnotized fellow.Well the handsome,multi-coloued sheepstarted to munch op the delicate green grass and for the next 1 year the pretty coulerd sheep ate the chandelier like grass that stayed fragile and silky smooth but in the end the satin grass and smooth wolly sheep weren’t seen again….

    • Mrs Bailey

      Well Talha, this is the most imaginative piece of writing I have read from you all year – excellent! Now you must keep this up, I really enjoyed reading it. It is def. over 100 words though! Well done for remembering to use paragraphs and some excellent openers that help to sequence the story. Just a note, take care between of and off.

  • rachel

    One weird and wonderful day ten sheep were eating the neon green grass. It was a beautiful sunny day in appleford, but there was something odd going on. But what was it? There was a sudden black out. All the sheep ran away but it was to late. The thing was here! All the sheep ran and ran but they were to slow for it. It started to rain, but not just ordinary rain it was a rainbow crying! One of the sheep asked
    “You poor rainbow, why are you crying?”
    The rainbow replied in a sorrowful voice,
    “Its the clouds, they are picking on me!
    The sheep said in a strong manly voice,
    “I’ll get them sorted for you, don’t you worry! I’ll give them a piece of my mind!”
    So as the sheep trotted over to the clouds, they just laughed.
    “Why are you laughing at us all?” Shouted the sheep.
    “Have you lately looked in a mirror?” Said the clouds.
    No i havent if you don’t mind, why whats wrong with us?” The sheep said angrily.
    “Your multi-coloured!” Replied the clouds.
    “Ohh sorry sheep that was me by crying on you!” Said the rainbow.
    “Its ok don’t worry.”Said the sheep.
    THE END

    • Mrs Bailey

      Great work Rachel, I really like your idea of the rainbow crying and turning all the sheep different colours. Well done for including speech in your short story, it lets me find out more about the characters. Keep up the good work!

  • brandont

    On a greeny grass a greeny grass day there lived a purple sheep called Bob. he was the coolest sheep what ever lived and he bullys everyone because hes cool and he always shows of about his self and the other sheep I DONT NOW WHY! they even botherI exspected him to be nice and he always breaks my heart i dont like it.Why cant Bob just live an never come back again the sheep world “Baaaa” so we can have a pece and crite life together again how it normally was

    • Mrs Bailey

      Good work Brandon, well done with your punctuation, using exclamation marks and speech marks. Just remember to use a question mark when you write a question e.g. Why can’t Bob just live and never come back in the sheep world? I liked you opening ‘On a greeny grass day…’ Well done on your first blog, keep it up :)

  • george

    As I gazed into the endless, evergreen fields I couldn’t help but notice these beautiful, breathtaking brightly coloured sheep wondering around so happily and gracefully with no cares in the world. They were munching on the crisp, sun burnt grass as a large, vibrant, multicoloured rainbow shifted accross the skyline quickly and hastily that glistened between the golden sunshine that was beeming through the fluffy light clouds that reminded me of giant floating marshmellows. The rainbows colours shone over the sheeps fields and filled them with the most amazing burst of colour which illuminated their fleecy jackets even more. As the rain began to pour, each rain drop created an extra splash of colour, it was like skittles were falling through the sky. What an awesome sight it was.

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      Wow! George I love your opening sentence ‘As I gazed into the endless, evergreen field….’ This really paints a glorious picture in my mind. I think you have used alliteration really effectively here too. Just check and make sure you are using comma’s in lists of adjectives George!

  • thomasm

    The Rainbaars have taken over! They have invaded our homes, our fields and our countryside! Rainbaars? Rainbaars… I hear you shout; let me tell you about them. They are a cross breed of genetically modified sheep and part alien. It all started when they came from a volcanic eruption, from under the sea. Of course the sea was filled with oil, because it was the year 2973! Previously an alien space ship had crashed next to volcano the year before; the aliens must have tampered with the volcanic frequency which made the space ship loose micro-organisms. These micro-organisms had locked on to the sheep in the neighbouring continent of Europe; they later infected the sheep turning them in the Rainbaars. This means that the Rainbaars have a special ability meaning they could escape any trap. Will we be able to stop them spreading?

    • Mrs Bailey

      Excellent Tom, this is a great short story. Excellent use of punctuation, rhetorical questions, ! and …. It is such a creative idea about the Rainbaars and you have chosen you vocabulary so well, such as ‘neighbouring continent’ and ‘micro-organisms’. I just want to find out the ending now!!!!

  • kasim

    On a nice summers day a farmer called henry gathered coloured sheep but how did they manage to change colour? Suddenly a massive cloud just appeared right in front of these white sheep. Amazingly a bunch of skittles came pouring down every sheep transformed into completely different colours. Much of a problem really.

    So carefully henry thought “aha! maybe I could give them a shower” Quickly henry gave a quick shower did it work? No. Now he was in a dialema.

    Henry froze . Maybe he could get a white skittle and feed it to these sheep. So henry grabbed a white skittle from the cloud and scattered it on the green grass. All the sheep spreaded on the farm and gobbled up these skittles. Cheerfully all of the sheep changed back to their normal colour.

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      I like your idea of white skittles to turn the sheep back Kasim, very imaginative. Read back over your work Kasim, perhaps you could edit this and add in some comma’s and capital letters?

    • uzair

      I loved your blog Kasim

  • emilia

    In Keighlee’s dream…..

    In Keighlee’s dream, she saw bright couloured sheep and a van that went nee naw.

    Suddenly,the bright sky burst into a pitter patter…

    Falling sheep like a multi-couloured waterfall. Colours such as gold, orange, pink and blue on them all.

    “BAA!” Went One.
    “BAA!” Went the other.
    “BAA!” Went a little sheep with it’s mother.

    Many loud sheep as bright as a rainbow,cheering up the people below!

    Gobbling all the green , crispy grass,in big,big groups,a flourecent mass.

    Nee naw, nee naw screams the police van.
    “Catch em all ,lock em up!”insists the policeman.

    “Don’t put them down! They are harmless you see,” exclaimed a young girl named Keighlee.

    Therfore they decided to let them stay – hip hip hip hip hooray!!

    In Keighlee’s dream she saw, bright coloured sheep and a van that went nee naw.

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      What a lovely take on this homework! I really enjoyed your poem Emilia, it was very imaginative and you use speech really effectively with the correct speech punctuation. Well done!

  • tomasso

    “A WOOLEY RAINBOW”

    Splashes of bright colours have been appearing on a hillside in Yorkshire. They seem to have dropped from the sky like giant petals.

    Our reporter spoke to a local farmer for his opinion on this mysterious and colourful sight.

    “I am flabbergasted, I have never seen such a unusual sight. I was minding my own business when I suddenly saw flashes of colour in the sky. I sprinted over to get a better view, then I realised what it was. Sheep, multicoloured sheep!”

    The reporter asked “so where do you think they came from?”

    “Not sure” replied the farmer, “but I hope they stay they certainly brighten up this empty field.”

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      Well done Tomasso! I thought your use of an ‘eyewitness’ was a great way to keep the readers interest! I like your use of the short senetnce ‘Sheep, multicoloured sheep!’ to give the sense of shock and amazement. Well done, keep it up!

  • megan

    My homework

    It was just a normal saturday morning for ted,but all of that was going to change( Of course ted didn’t know that!)

    At about miday,the strangest thing happened.
    At this point Ted was having his dinner,a ham and cheese sandwhich to be precise.As Ted scanned the room, looking for the mayonaise,his eyes fixed on the window in the cornor of his kitchen.He gasped and his ham and cheese sandwhich fell to the cold wooden floor.As he gazed out of the window all he could see was multi-coloured sheep!

    Ted rushed out side to investigate what had happened to his beautiful white sheep. About 5 minnuets later he discovered that the sorce of the problem was…Skittles!

    He had discovered that what had happened was that a plane had flown over head and accidentaly dropped its load of 1 million skittles.The sheep had mistaken the skittles for food because they were colour blind.Ted also found out that when the sheep excreted the skittles out in there waste they would lose there colour and he would have his beautiful white sheep back.

    • megan

      my work is 187 words long.
      megan

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      What a great story Megan, your first short paragraph,

      It was just a normal saturday morning for ted,but all of that was going to change( Of course ted didn’t know that!)

      kept me hooked! I also liked your use of complex sentences such as, ‘As Ted scanned the room, looking for the mayonaise,his eyes fixed on the window in the cornor of his kitchen.’ This really gave me the sense that I was there, watching Ted scan the room! Keep it up Megan!

  • henry

    The day was hot and sticky when BOOM, BOOM, DA, DA,DA,DA came through the monsterous 10 foot music speakers. The sweaty roadies had set up the stage for the BIG COLOUR music festival in the huge farmer’s field. McFly were coming to the concert to perform ‘Shine a Light’ and ‘I’ll be your man’. The colossal crowd cheered and roared so loud the sheep, also in the field, stopped in amazement. One hour later the band sang their final song and threw enomous buckets of coloured powder into the happy crowd, covering the people and sheep! You could smell the sweet, soft, fluffy candy floss for sale which looked just like the sheep in the field! Was it actually the sheeps wool, we will never know?????

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      Very imaginative Henry! I loved your description of ‘the monsterous 10 foot music speakers’, this really gives an impression of size and how loud they might be! You use alliteration really effectively, ‘The colossal crowd cheered…’ and ‘You could smell the sweet, soft, fluffy candy floss for sale which looked just like the sheep in the field.’ Well done, I enjoyed this very much. Have a read through Henry and see if you can see where you have missed any commas.

  • Thea

    On the magical farm of Long croft it had just struck morning and the farmers alarm clock set off. Slowly
    he got out of his bed and sleepily got dressed.When
    the farmer had finally eaten his breakfast he heard a lot of noise coming from outside. Quickly he got up to see what was going on. He saw that all of his farm animals were making a lot of noise so he brushed his teeth and went outside.

    Suddenly he realised that they were all staring at the field where the farmer had put the sheep yesterday. So he got in his truck and set off to the to the field and screamed like a hyena because he saw that the sheep were all diffrent colours. Carefully the farmer rushed around the sheep and felt their fur, they were all dry, he quietly thought “what could have happened?” Just then, he saw a boy passing by point at the multi coloured shed. He then knew exactly what must have happened. H’d left the paint lids open!! The sheep must have eaten the paint, that is what made them change colour. He tried to clear the colour out of them but it wouldn’t work. Unfortunately, the farmer was stuck with colurful sheep, and laughing cows, goats, ducks, pigs ponies and chickens.

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      What a fabulous ending Thea! I love the idea of the other animals laughing all the time! I also really like your opening sentence, it sets the scene very well. Have a read over your work Thea and see if you can spot where you may have missed a comma or two! Also just a quick note, you do not need speech marks for a thought……nobody has spoken it, it is in the persons head! :) Well done Thea!

  • zaid

    Touch, scatter touch, scatter “Oh why does everything I touch turn to skittles, hi Bob” cried Tom as he patted him on the back. Scatter. ” Oh no, I turned Bob to skittles.Hi Harry” screamed Tom as he patted him on the back.Scatter.” Oh no I did it again” cried Tom. Tom cept on repeating his mistake until all his friends turned to skittles. Then suddenly all of Toms friends were recreated in to sheep again but they were all not white! “Everyone attack Tom, charge” Screamed Harry as everyone attacked Tom before Harry even screamed those words. “AAAAAAAAAAH!” To be continued, NEVER.

    • Mrs Bailey

      Brilliant Zaid, I like your idea of using the recent ‘Skittles’ advert for your story idea, I love that advert! A really nice opening ‘Touch, scatter, touch, scatter…’ It drew my attention in straight away. Well done for including some speech too. Remember to use an apostrophe for Tom’s friends.

  • sophie

    On my way home from work I looked out of the train window and to my astonishment all I could see was multicoloured sheep and lambs playfully grazing in the peaceful countryside. Passengers on the train were excitedly chattering and discussing this strange sight. I glanced back to the article I was reading in my farmers magazine to discover there had been a crime wave recently in this part of the country were sheep rustlers had been stealing sheep, therefore the farmer from Rainbow Farm had a brain wave of dying his sheep bright vibrant colours to deter the theives. Apparently this idea is becoming very popular among several farmers in the community.

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      What a fabulous idea Sophie! I like your use of alliteration in the sentence ‘playfully grazing in the peaceful countryside.’ Maybe I will start painting my posessions in bright, vibrant colours! :) Read back over your work Sophie and see if you can spot any missing commas. Perhaps you could edit them in and re-post it?

      • millie

        All you farmers out there! Have you ever given your sheep a pill that can turn their fleece into different colours? If not, hurry down to your local farmers market and buy some herbal Eco-Rainbow Drops. From now until the end of July it’s 50% off! Yes that’s 50% off! Different coloured combinations can be swallowed to achieve a vibrant, multi-coloured effect. Just think of the money you could be saving with not having to dye the wool and the whole process is chemical and pain free! Please note: if you feed your sheep more drops than the recommended daily dosage, the colours may run. WARNING: Keep out of the reach of children, especially the blue drops, or you could end up with a Smurf-like child for a month! :D

        • Mrs Bailey

          Amazing Millie, a great idea for the homework. Writing an advert, and a very persuasive advert aswell, if I was a farmer I might have been convinced to buy some of these ‘Eco-Rainbow Drops’. Well done for remembering to use rhetorical questions to make the reader think and a very clever idea of including an offer of 50% off! Keep up this excellent work.

        • Mrs Duxbury

          Millie, what a great idea…I think I may see you on Dragon’s Den before long…I loved reading this, well done you!
          Mrs Duxbury

    • ellief

      Well done Sophie you really brought the story to life . :D

  • ellief

    In days gone by the same coloured sheep stuck together and didn’t mix with other coloured sheep.Until baarbra the red sheep and baarnard the blue sheep who were the same age, secretly sneaked off from, their familys and played together.Also baarenda who was a yellow sheep and baarian who was a green sheep also used to sneak of with each other.After one stormy tuesday evening baarbra and baarnard decided to play together again but the ground was so slippy that baarnard fell and twisted his hoof
    “Ouch”he screamed not thinking anyone would hear but they did baarenda and baarian who were playing near by heard and came over to see what all the fuss was about.
    “Are you alright”asked baarenda worridly.
    “Not really but will you help me get back to the blue sheep please?”replied baarnard .
    So baarenda,baarian and baarbra all helped baarnard back to the field but when they got to the middle all of the older sheep spotted them and came over to see what had happened .The older sheep all started talking and soon found out just how much they had in common from that day on all of the sheep were the best of friends and that is why when you pass by the field all of the sheep are a rainbow of colours!

    • ellief

      I wrote 223 words!

      • Miss Tidmarsh

        I really like how you have made the names out of ‘Baaa’, that was really creative! Just have a read through you work Ellie, you have missed out capital letters for names! Also, yu have forgotten to put commas into your work. Perhaps you could have a look and edit these in?
        Good effort Ellie!

  • bchloe

    One sunny, showery afternoon I was lying in a field watching the sheep in a nearby pasture. Suddenly, a sharp showwer of rain came down like a gushing waterfall. Like magic as quick as it came the rain stopped.A big WHOSH of sunlight flashed out from behind a cotton wool cloud, and formed a beautiful rainbow. A giant colourful box of smarties appered right beside me at the end of the rainbow. Just like sizzling fireworks the sheep popped out of the giant box of smarties and as fast as bullets the sheep blasted out. To my surprise they were brightly coloulered just like the rainbow whitch carried them along its multicoloured curve, and scattered them into the wonderful green grassy field. I suddenly awoke surrounded by sheep saying BAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!! Oh no I wondered what had happened until I realised
    the whole thing was a dream !

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      I love your use of allieration and simile in the sentence ‘Suddenly a sharp shower of rain came down like a gushing waterfall’, it really pianted a picture in my mind. In fact you have used a lot of similes in this, well done! Have a read through your work Chloe, you have missed some commas in your sentences, perhaps you can go back and edit them in?

    • ellief

      I liked how you put One sunny, showery afternoon and Suddenly, a sharp showwer of rain came down like a gushing waterfall . :)

  • Louis

    LOUIS.

    As I climed to the highest peak of my dreams I peeped over the edge and suddennly saw a amazing, fantastic site. There standing slowly chewing on the freshly moewd green grass were a incredible herd of magical colourful sheep. They were like sheep from the end of the rainbow, rose red, sky blue, leef green,sunny yellow and plum purple! My eyes were wide with suprize as I looked across the mountain feild. I couldn’t believe what I had actually seen. Suddenly I woke up and as my head rose off my fluffy white soft pillow, Ithought about the colorful wonders of my dreams. As quick as lightning I flew out of bed and started to paint my special colorful dream on my canvas. Would I ever see anything as wonderful and magical again??

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      What a opening sentence Louis, ‘As I climed to the highest peak of my dreams I peeped over the edge and suddennly saw a amazing, fantastic site.’ It certainly made me want to read on to find out what you saw! I also like the way you have named the colours. Try to remember to put commas when you are listing adjectives Louis! Well done!

    • ellief

      Well done Louis I liked how you named the colours Rose red,Sky blue,Leaf green,Sunny yellow and Plum purple . :)

    • uzair

      well done

  • luke

    One beautiful day, farmer Tom was working in his fields harvesting his crops. There was a warm breeze passing by and the sun beating down on his crops and a little stream flowing through the gently swaying trees. Farmer Tom was walking through his delightfully golden fields, when he spotted a strange sheep on the horizon. He rushed to the sheep that he saw in the distance. He was amazed at what he saw. Lots of weirdly coloured sheep they where apple green, illumines pink, sky blue and plum purple. Farmer Tom sat down in devastation. How could he sell this unusually coloured wool therefore how could he make lots of shining pennies. When he had gone to sleep a mysterious leprechaun came out from the shadows. The mysterious leprechaun had lots of glamorous paint and a bristly paint brush and so the leprechaun started to paint sheep different colours in the their sleep. The next morning farmer Tom woke up to see the sheep in different colours again. Farmer Tom was so angry that he would trick the annoying leprechaun into painting the sheep white. That night he put out five big buckets full of brilliant white paint then whilst farmer Tom was asleep the mysterious leprechaun had only a brush, and there lying in the middle of the field were five big buckets of paint and the unusual leprechaun crept towards the buckets of paint…
    He got out his bristly paint brush and painted the sheep white again. The next morning he finds his trick had worked and so all his sheep were a brilliant white again!

    No. of words
    Luke B

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      You really set the scene with some lovely adjectives Luke. I love your idea of tricking a sneaky leprechaun! Maybe your story would have benefitted from being split into paragraphs Luke, what do you think?
      Well done Luke, keep it up!

  • stephanie

    In a magical land, in a faraway place called Destiny Falls, all of the magical sheep are brightly coloured and live in fields where the grass tastes like delicious creamy chocolate. As the delightfully coloured sheep nibbled on the scrummy grass the evil sheep boss, Demond, strolled round and made sure that her delicious creamy chocolate grass was still tasty and that the powerfull sheep were still powerfull. The blue sheep can read minds, the pick sheep can fly, the orange sheep can freeze people and the green sheep can turn invisible. One day a really bad storm came with torrential rain, it washed all there colours away. Now they are just ordinary sheep.

    • Mrs Bailey

      Very good Stephanie, you have used descriptive vocabulary so well that I can imagine myself there, especially eating the creamy, chocolate grass! Yum yum! I like how the different coloured sheep had different powers, I think I would like to be the pink sheep! Maybe think about including some speech in your story between characters.

  • Jordan Healey

    As I slowly drifted off to sleep faint coloured blobs began to float around the room, the deeper I fell asleep the clearer the blobs became, they were M&Ms. They began to sprout heads and legs and run about all round my bedroom their shiney coat turned to fluff and they began to Baa. I woke with a scream and ran to my bedroom window, I looked outside to see hundreds of tiny coloured sheep eating our garden. I bellowed for my mum who came running upstairs and burst into my room shouting ” wheres the fire” I turned to look out of the window again and the tiny sheep had disappeared. I told my mum about what I had seen and she said ” What are you talking about you will do anything to stay up an extra half hour, you have had too much chocolate and too many M&Ms I am cancelling Easter next year.

    • Mrs Bailey

      Wow, this is great Jordan. What a great idea about M&M’s ‘sprouting’ heads and legs. this is very creative and you’ve used super adjectives to describe this in the story. Well done for using speech too as this is your target, just remember to close the speech marks when somebody finishes speaking. What a great start to your blogging journey – keep up the super work (and no more choclate for you!) :)

    • Mr Williams

      I’m really impressed, Jordan. This is a great idea and you have written it really well. I like the first sentence: ‘As I slowly drifted off to sleep….’
      To make it even better, you could start a new paragraph when somebody speaks.
      I hope you carry on writing as well as this!

  • trey

    One sunny day in the green medows lived a flock of sheep who allways ate green grass. Meanwhile in a dark shed a evil sheep called baaaaaaaaaa was ploting somthing to make the sheep go colourded. So night fell and all the sheep were a sleep but from one sheep it was baaaaaaaaaa he crept into the sheeps shed and frew paint all over them but one thing baaaaaaaaaa didnt noit was wash day the next day.So the next day the sheep got washed and the baaaaaaaaaa got flew out of the flock.

    BY Trey

    • brandont

      well done Trey this is really good i liked it when you used the sentence on a greeny grass day medows.

      well done

    • uzair

      Grate work Trey

    • Miss Tidmarsh

      Well done Trey, I like your idea, it was very imaginative and you use some good openers such as ‘meanwhile’ and ‘So night fell’. Try to remember to put commas in your sentences e.g.
      ‘Meanwhile, in a dark shed a evil sheep…’, using a comma after meanwhile. A good effort Trey, well done!

  • tomd

    One scorching day, in the idllic lake district I went on a lesualy stroll . For your infomation I’m on holiday in the lake district.

    After five minuets I came up to a style and clamberd up it . To my surprize the sheep who were origianlly white but now they were all different colours like leaf green, sky blue, ruby red and many other colours and shades!!!

    Then I immeditally yanked my binoculars out, I zoomed in with them on the grass to see MNM’s , STARBURST and SKITTLES!!!

    I figured out that they had dyed the wool after they had eaten them . So I thorght of a plan …

    GIVE THEM WHITE SWEETS TURN THEM WHITE AGAIN !!!

    So I sprinted to the nearest shop and bought lots of mint imperials then I raced back again and swapped the sweets!

    The next day I woke up and went to the same field . It worked!The sheep were white again .

    And from that day nothing weird happened to the innocent sheep ever again.

    THE END

    number of words : 169
    TOM D

  • georgia

    Georgia

    As I chased the rainbow to find my dream pot of gold, I was strangely being followed by a flock of fluffy white sheep. To my amazement in the distance I could see some shimmering gold. As I approached the shimmering gold, it appeared to be a golden tap.

    Should I turn the tap? I was asking myself. However, curiosity got the better of me and with a blink of an eye I turned the tap. WHOOSH! Out came flying a group of multicoloured fairy’s all holding wands. One by one the fairy’s magically waved their wands over the white fluffy sheep, and dyed their coats to match the colours of the rainbow.

    Still flabbergasted by what I had just witnessed the tap had stopped running and the rainbow was quickly fading. The fairy’s had vanished and the multicoloured sheep continued to graze like nothing had happened.

    Quite bizarre really.

    • sophie

      i like how u have used some adjectives georgia and i like thew end sentence Quite bizarre really. well done .

  • taylorh

    There are lots of colours like pink,green,red and lots more colouled sheep in this photo also there are lots of other colouled sheep in this photo.There are 30 sheep in this photo and all driffrent colouls also some sheeps are very small like lams and some sheep are fully growend and the are eating light green grass.The colours on the sheep stands for how many lams they are having.All of the saheep are having it lunch and later they will have there eatand they will have the light green gass again the can eat all day long.

  • adam

    Once upon a time in a land far far away aliens captured sheep,for no intent reason.The sheep lived on the aliens world happily.However the aliens had to escape from their world because a raimbow comet was about to crash into it.They left behind the sheep from earth .As the comet crashed the raimbow power exploded all over the alien world and the sheep started to turn the colours of the raimbow.Although,the sheep never felt a thing as the raimbow comet hit the alien world . What a dumb pack of sheep that the aliens kidnapped!

  • elliot

    sneakily, the fluffy sheeps dived over the rotten brown fence. they were seen trotting into a starburst factory over night. They have been spotted coming out all sorts of different colours. Scientists have figured out what has been hapening. they have said it all started when the sheeps entered the building and have been going through the machines that starburst are being made in. the farmer has been find £6O,OOO for opening the gate every night and the starbust factory has incresed it’s security. the coloured wool has been made into wooly jumpers and is being sold at asda.

  • uzair

    Down the valley, there was a gigantic field like a brown carpet laying across . A huge field beyond our eyes .
    There were a heard of different coloured sheep red , blue , green , pink and purple . What was it? It was amazingly coloured and stunningly beautiful!
    It was the magic grass they had been munching on that made them what they are today. Not the usaul boring white .
    Scenery full of colour which was seen from miles away,that made it so picturesque full of vibrant and bold colours . It made the sheep’s come to life.
    Slowly as the day went by the sheep gaze down on the field munching away on the magic grass, not knowing what beautiful colours it brought to their wool.

  • lhannah

    One early summer’s day, whilst the lambs grazed on the luscious organic grass an amazing site happened before my eyes. The white lambs started to turn different colours every minute the colours came deeper and deeper.

    The question was would the lambs taste the same or would each lamb taste a different flavour. As I stared at the lambs I imagined the different flavours each lamb would taste like, the deep purple lambs tasting of red current sauce, the red lambs with a hint of tomato and basil, whilst the yellow lambs a Moroccan spiced dish the blue lambs look extremely wired which reminded me of bubble gum flavour, yuk. Baaaaaaaaaaaa bbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    By Hannah

  • joew

    I was in my busy class-room when all of a sudden my eyes glazed over and I was transported to an amazing land. It was full of lots of different colours such as blue,yellow, red, green and many more. Then I looked down and I was the colour Purple!!! I looked up and the sheep were happily munching on jelly beans!! Wow!! I didn’t know sheep liked jelly beans. I wondered if that was what made their wool change colour. Cool!! I blinked and found myself back in my busy classroom as if time had stood still for a moment while I was day dreaming.

  • zinneerah

    I was giving my wonderfull sheeps some colourfull sheeps.

    When I gave them my sweets, I thought that something was hapening to them. I asked the sheeps “Whats happening to you?!! your your your tingling!” I gasped “baaa baaa baaa baaa” I called the vets. I told them everything about what happened to them. They said they’ll be there in one second. When they came they said ” please can you give me them sweets that you gave the sheeps!!” so I went to get them. When Icane back with them sweets the vets saw them and said ” These are tutti fruties you are not alloud to give them to sheeps, they’re Piousness to sheeps!!!” Your sheeps are going to turn multicoloured tomorrow.

    • neva

      That’s a good piece of writing Zinneerah, but you don’t need to put sheeps, it sheep for 1 or more sheep, e.g. “I have lot’s of sheep at my farm,” said the farmer to the other farmer.

      P.S. But I bet your sentances will be much better than my egsample!

  • Meggy Cee (6D)

    Wow I think your class holds the record for the amount of coments on a post ours was made by Josh H for 18 comments but you have 102 well 103 now but great work anyway!

  • joshuah

    Actully mine was 21 but I got to say; WAW! Over 100 comments is top! Congratulations!

  • Josh and Ben

    Year 5, this work is great. We love all the description you have used and all the different styles of writing you have used. Keep Blogging.

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